Basics of Parenting

Basics Of Parenting

            Today, the one and the only question that is in the minds of everybody is “where are the youth of this generation going?” as the lifestyle and values of the youth is bothering the society to say the least. Though the  problems created by the youth and the problems faced by them are innumerable, it is not the state of affairs of the youth alone that is causing anxiety. The baby on its way into this world, new born babies and the children in different stages of growth  also face and cause problems. While trying to find the root cause of the problem it is the parents who are blamed for it, most of the time.   Though they are not the sole cause, they have a major role to play.   Their success in parenting depends on the kind of parents they are, their environment, the support from the family, the possibility of getting trained for parent hood, the level of education, the nature of the child concerned etc.,. The problems, mostly psychological, would vanish with proper  parenting.  In the early days, people mostly lived in joint families.  The experience and advice the young parents received from the elders, parents, aunts, grand parents, uncles, guided them in the process of parenting.  The children also had many people to support them, to allow them to vent their feelings and  to learn the probable ways of findings solutions to their problems.

True Story

            While talking to a group of adolescent girls shocking messages came to light.   Many of the adolescent girls were having illicit relationship with auto drivers with whom they were coming to school.   Deeper analysis brought out the fact that these girls were longing for love from their parents.    When an iota of love or something akin to it is shown by the auto driver, they easily fall a prey to the former’s devious designs; of course they suffer later when they find it difficult to extricate themselves from the driver’s clutches.    Only the parents can help these children.    One of the great, noble traits of parenthood is love  and that alone can cure many ills faced by the children and youth. It can help the girls to retrieve themselves1.

            In yet another instance, a 5 years old orphan boy in a care centre for the AIDS infected persons   stunned the onlookers by saying that if his father had had proper parenting, he would not have gone astray and ended with AIDS, infecting his mother too2. Even this small lad knows the importance of parenthood.   Everyone knows about parenting and follow the kind of parenting demonstrated by their parents or that which they have learnt through courses or training or advice given by psychologists or gurus.

Styles of Parenting:

            Just as there are different types of human beings, there are different types of styles of parents.    The parents’ style influences the level and kind of development of the child.    Whatever may be the style of parenting the essentials to be looked into are, “Express your love, make your child feel secure. Build their self-esteem. Stay flexible and recognize the time for change as your child grows. Communicate openly and honestly and be confident  in your own ability”3. When you talk to your child, you should be actually listening not just hearing.

            There are different types of parenting, such as “Authoritative, Authoritarian, Permissive4”.   Parents who are very clear about their role and give instructions with confidence can be considered as Authoritative.   The Reader’s Digest Great Dictionary of the English language shows that authoritative means commanding and self confident, while authoritarian implies, favoring or enforcing strict obedience to authority5.  It is similar to dictatorship.

            Another variety of parenting is known as permissive.  These parents allow their children to follow their own path, mostly non-interfering.   It is similar to saying, “let the sleeping dogs lie” as they are.   These parents do not want to follow any strict rules or take up much responsibility in bringing up their children.   There is another mode of classifying the parents.   According to this classification, there are three types of parents, such as Consultant, Helicopter, Dull Sergeants6.

Three Types of Parents

CONSULTANT

HELICOPTER

DRILL